Sunday, December 14, 2008

spit bubbles ~

If someone were to ask my children what the "rules" are at home...hopefully they would answer..."we only have four...the four D's...”
(1) Don't Disrespect others(2) Don't Disobey authority (3) Don't deliberately Disturb others (4) Don't act Dangerously reckless.
It all started when my son was about two and a half, he was blowing "spit bubbles" in the back seat of our car for about thirty incessant minutes. My first response was to tell him to quit and that blowing spit bubbles was gross and I turned around and saw his shirt soaked around the collar and the overjoyed smile on his drool covered face I began to question why I was going to thwart his joyous new discovery in the world of saliva. (Little did I know that many more discoveries in this world were yet to come...yuck) So, as I turned to him something in me stopped and questioned my disapproval.

I considered what he was was not dangerous ...there was no one else in the car for him to disturb, he was not disobeying any "spit bubble" rule, and his spitting was not directed at me out of anger
or I finally came to the conclusion that he was what he was...a little boy..playing with saliva..gross yes...but wrong...not at that moment in that situation. Changes in those 4 d's could cause me to ask him to stop (like if someone were sitting next to him fearing a soaking) but in that moment I let him be...we arrived at my mom's house with a shirt that needed to be put in the dryer and maybe disinfected, but other than that we both survived the trip, and to be honest he got quite bored with the gesture after about 15 miles...and moved on to animal noises.
so I realized then..that I was going to let the "spit bubble" incident be a lesson to me. I was going to try to say Yes as much as possible. I would try to let him be a little boy, but within situational boundaries. And now that he is 8, and my daughter is 3, I realize that spit bubbles were just the beginning...good thing I learned that lesson early!

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