the dilemma of tackling ~

When I visualized my children in their grade school years, I had dreamy visions of taking the "less" path...less activities, less commitments, less intensity, less fuss. I visualized them sitting around the kitchen table after school doing homework and eating a snack...maybe even milk and cookies. And perhaps, we have actually acheived that "comparatively" speaking...but I have learned time and again that our realities don't always line up our visions.... and this past fall our lives took a turn...a turn towards "more."

Let me explain ~ In keeping with the "less" mentality, Fisher has never been allowed to do more than one sport at a time...I have often said that God would have to shout through a megaphone in the sky for us to choose that road. But as with all decisions, or should I say, convictions, it comes with sacrifices and consequences. Well we chose our "one" sport this past fall to be Football. Not just any football..but the kind where you hit one another...the kind without flags, not "touch" football, but full out, shoulders down, head up, tackle football.

This decision was not made flippantly, as we had never done an intense sport like this before this year. For months Jeff and I processed the pros and cons this level of sport would be for our family. You would have thought we were choosing a college or a academic major, but at nine years of age, he is our little trail blazer, and these seemingly "little" decisions are mighty in our eyes and in our lives.

Ironically, before we began processing the decision our minds were set against it. When Fisher was a baby I NEVER would have said he would play football, and I had a long list of reasons why, but that passion and vision did not include my little boy's big longing eyes starting at me with that "please say yes!" look. As we worked through all the pros and cons and set up the boundaries and deal breakers, it became more than obvious that for Fisher, and our family, the fall would be spent giving tackle football a chance. Funny how the reality of life "played out" changes from the visions we once had. When all the decision making was laid out on the table, the only "con" really was the time factor, but the pros, along with Fisher's begging, became heavy enough to tip the scales. The time factor has been a big commitment, but it is seasonal and it came with a sacrifice...no basketball after football season ended. Basketball runs from November - March, but we are not allowing Fisher to play in order to get back the family time we surrendered in the early fall.

So now entering December, we are heading into a season of no sport at all until baseball begins in March. This alone is something we have not experienced as a family since before Fisher was in Kindergarden. Football was not just Fisher's thing, but instead it became a "family thing." Decked out in our team colors and Adeline in her cheerleading uniform, the entire family went to EVERY GAME and in no time at all became fully engaged in the competition and spirit of the sport...in a surprising way, we all bonded around the new adventure that we entered into so cautiously. All our 'deal breakers" (yelling coaches, potential injury, stress shown on Fishers part, struggling grades) only became deal "makers." We LOVED the influence of the coach's, and Fisher did not stress at all, but instead, relished in the manliness of it all. When he wraps up a player or does suicides in the mud he does it with a smile that can only come from a newly found "rite of passage."

So, unexpectedly, for us, we chose to tackle...though the decision did not come lightly, it was a great one, actually, it was the right one. As I said, I am learning that my "pictures" are not the same as the reality that plays out in real life, but the trick is to "obey" in the present...the "where" and the "when" that God has placed us, and not our visions of the past, and remember to make our children's hearts and desires a "factor" in those realities...like I said, I never wanted a football player, but my son's little heart is overjoyed at the chance to wear his (tackle) football jersey to school every Friday! He smiles all the way! Oh, and when he gets home, he sits at our kitchen table in that footbal jersy and does his homework...just after a snack.... some days it's even milk and cookies.

do we need all ten fingers anyway? ~

We have just returned home from our family's annual beach trip. Every year at the beach is magical for us. Some are mountain people, some are city folk, some our hill country people, we are beach people...we just become one with the sun, sand and water and find ourselves lost in all that exists there. Fisher swims so far out into the waves. As I watch him, I hold my breath and pray, all the while relishing his fearlessness like an honor that manifests itself in a generous smile and a furrowed brow.

This year was an unusually perfect week at the beach. I am beginning to believe that the Lord drops down unusual nature incidents for Fisher and laughs as he watches as it all unfold...This trip Fisher caught a Shovel head ray, a sea snail, a crab, and multiple small fish (with a casting net) and a shark...yes, a shark.

The ray was first...it found itself somewhat stuck in the shallow waters of the surf and Fisher without hesitation grabbed it up with his hands and immediately drew a crowd. He became a pied piper of sorts on the beach, but instead of a pipe, he carried a sea creature. Everyone looked, some touched, and a brave few asked to hold, and then Fisher graciously sent it back to the ocean while whispering a prayer of thanks for such an awesome find.

The shark incident was one I was absent for (a big regret of mine) because I was up making Adeline lunch in the condo...but here is how the story goes as reported by all the viewers. A man was fishing off the shore where Fisher and his friends were swimming in the waves and he caught the baby bonnet head shark. Fisher saw him reeling it in and ran over to see what he caught. Upon realization that it was a small shark the man cut it lose, and it began to swim back out into the waves. Fisher followed it and eventually pounced on it and pulled it out of the water to show Jeff. He was holding it from the belly (near the mouth) with one hand and by the tail with the other, and it was squirming around trying to bite him. Jeff, wisely told him to hold it by the tail so as not to lose a finger. He took both hands and held it up by the tail and everyone crowded around to have a look and then he threw it back into the water whispering another prayer...his first shark catch, but most certainly not the last I am sure!

Often I am asked, why...why do we as his parents let him approach and worse, handle such mystery creatures....well, I have no "satisfactory" answer except that God has given me certain peace about Fishers uncanny familiarity with "wildlife." Fisher has no "fear filter" when it comes to God's creatures, but he does use a filter of wisdom and Jeff and I have both observed it in action. For example, he will not catch a snake he knows is poisonous and he would not have attempted to catch a shark twice his size...if he thinks death is even an option then he refrains, but simply losing a finger might be worth the adventure. He has caught countless number of insects, reptiles, amphibians, animals, birds, and now sea creatures that we have literally lost count.

God formed children with unique bents and specific designs that manifest themselves in their tolerances, passions and interests...I am convinced of that...so knowing that God made Fisher unique in that way, Jeff and I sit back and watch it all unfold...and sometimes it is just unbelievable the things he drops into our lap, our back yard, our neighborhood bayou, and our oceans right in front of Fisher as if He is saying, "here little buddy, this one is from me to you, enjoy, I made all of this for your pleasure!"

As a mom, it takes a great deal of calm, decisive allowance, but the journey is so much fun, and so very worth it... and as crazy as it sounds, I have come to terms with the fact that Fisher does not, in fact, need all ten fingers..

goals ~

Fisher has his first baseball game of the season tonight!!! Fisher's goal - home run; my goal - not to run along side Fisher to first base this year screaming RUN! (behind the fence of course).

effort counts for something, right? ~

I love making plans, lists, categorizing...so the idea of new years goals is heavenly..At the end of each year I set aside some time to "fine tune"...I divide my life up into categories and evaluate how I am doing in each of those areas...then I think of a few "un-overwhelming" ways to tweak those areas a bit in order to be moving forward in each...so as not to be stagnant. The way I see it, if I don't evaluate I'll never learn where I am stagnant, ya know...to some this list might seem overwhelming, but it is just a personal evaluation...I don't have a "paid-job" but this is the same kind of thing they do in the business world...right??? So, why not do a year end evaluation in my own private world...ya know! Anyway, most of the list involves "reading something" because I am an addicted learner, and I think that learning is the key to improving...knowing how. So that is really what most of the areas consist of...something to read rather than do...but my hope is that once I read, I will then "do" what I have learned. So having said that...T These are my "Goals for 2009!" As far as when I find the time to read all of this...usually in the a.m. between 5 - 7 or in the bed at night before going to sleep...I never read during the day...I can't find the time...oh, and just like with every list in my life...much will get pushed to the next list...2010...but hey, effort counts for something right?

2009 New Year Goals

Spiritual Goals –

Scripture memory ~ larger chunks (Beginning with Psalm 23, and Psalm 91)

Read He that is spiritual - Chafer

Read The Divine Conspiracy - Willard

Read The spirit of the disciplines - Willard

Physical Goals -

Vitamins – (Jeff sets them out for me every day, and I never take them.)

Brush teeth before bed - I know this one seems odd, but too many nights I just brush past the bathroom and b-line straight for the bed.

Skin care regiment - Hello...40 is not that far.

Personal Goals –

Read The Biography of George Muller

Read Through the gates of splendor - Elliot

Read Biography of Eric Lidell

(I would like to focus on amazing acts of others)

Watch College Football

Learn and understand photoshop and get a SLR Camera (I was motivated by the pictures we had taken in November - I don't want to go into business, just capture the great moments of life in my house as it happens...I thought...if she (the photographer can do this, I can do this...not always the case with everything, but worth a try)

Social Goals –

Keep up better with my girlfriends by initiating more phone calls - I get on auto pilot way too much...I can forget to look up!

Service Goals –

I want to make our support of Village Schools International in Tanzania more infused into our family through pictures,(one is shown above) and reading the ministry updates to the family.

Family Service projects

Marital Goals –

Re-read The Excellent Wife – Peace

Read The Love Dare

Continue bi-monthly date nights w/ sitter

Parenting Goals –

Read Raising Kids that turn out right – Kimmal

Re-read Being a Great mom raising great kids - Jaynes

Re-read Grace based parenting – Kimmal

Memorize our family blueprint and teach it to our children...infuse it into our home(I will list the blue print here)

Camping – do it (twice next year)

Scripture memory w/ kids

Daily devotionals with kids

Family meeting/devos - short and sweet - once a week!

Fantasy Goal -

meet and become good friends with Beth Moore

math revisited ~

Last night I had a flash back...I watched my husband sitting at our kitchen table with my son working on math. My husband was rubbing his head in frustration and my son was doing the same.

I never liked math as a child. My dad was my "math hero." Almost daily he worked with me at our kitchen table, reteaching, training and tutoring me. We would sit there until I was able to do the assignment independently with success. I remember working the problems on my own,but as I worked, I would glance up to see whether he was grimacing, frowning or pleased...He quickly caught on to my dependance on his facial clues and became completely expressionless...even worse, sometimes he would leave the table and set the timer. I hated when he did that.

My flash back came in the same scenario...I watched as Fisher answered a math problem, and I watched him look up at my husband for some sign in the lines on his face, "am I supposed to carry the one here?" I watched as my husband became expressionless, and I felt for Fisher.

Then, standing there in the kitchen, staring at the scene, I experienced one of those surreal moments that happens to every parent when you see your life from outside of it almost looking in. In that moment, it hit me that..."wow, I am the parent now." I am no longer the child looking for the facial clues, but instead someone looks to me for them. There will never be another math test for me, but I will study math all over again for years as a parent. I wanted to interupt that scene and afirm for Fisher that he would conqure three-digit addition, and everything would be ok.

There, among all the frustration, my kitchen table now hosted the cyclical scene of life, I mean, math, revisited, and I was oddly comforted.

...let's just hope I retained all that my father taught me, and by the way...thanks Dad..I get it now...more than just math....thanks to your help, your expressionless face and our ktichen table!

spit bubbles ~

If someone were to ask my children what the "rules" are at home...hopefully they would answer..."we only have four...the four D's...”

(1) Don't Disrespect others(2) Don't Disobey authority (3) Don't deliberately Disturb others (4) Don't act Dangerously reckless.

It all started when my son was about two and a half, he was blowing "spit bubbles" in the back seat of our car for about thirty incessant minutes. My first response was to tell him to quit and that blowing spit bubbles was gross and rude...as I turned around and saw his shirt soaked around the collar and the overjoyed smile on his drool covered face I began to question why I was going to thwart his joyous new discovery in the world of saliva. (Little did I know that many more discoveries in this world were yet to come...yuck) So, as I turned to him something in me stopped and questioned my disapproval.

I considered what he was doing...it was not dangerous ...there was no one else in the car for him to disturb, he was not disobeying any "spit bubble" rule, and his spitting was not directed at me out of anger or disrespect...so I finally came to the conclusion that he was what he was...a little boy..playing with saliva..gross yes...but wrong...not at that moment in that situation. Changes in those 4 d's could cause me to ask him to stop (like if someone were sitting next to him fearing a soaking) but in that moment I let him be...we arrived at my mom's house with a shirt that needed to be put in the dryer and maybe disinfected, but other than that we both survived the trip, and to be honest he got quite bored with the gesture after about 15 miles...and moved on to animal noises.

so I realized then..that I was going to let the "spit bubble" incident be a lesson to me. I was going to try to say Yes as much as possible. I would try to let him be a little boy, but within situational boundaries. And now that he is 8, and my daughter is 3, I realize that spit bubbles were just the beginning...good thing I learned that lesson early!

the little gnome in our house ~

In my house, I am certain that there lives a little gnome…and when no one is looking he runs through the house throwing, tossing and disheveling all that he encounters…He opens the cabinets and leaves them open, he takes trash and places it all around the house in inconspicuous places, he fills my sink with dirty dishes that I have no memory whatsoever of using, he leaves half full sippy cups and random articles of clothing laying around the stairs and the floor …and to top it off…he even plucks my dog’s hair and leaves little clumps of it everywhere! And, he does all this in what seems like only minutes since I last picked up the house!!! How does he do that?

Well the only way I can continue to keep this little gnome from entirely disrupting my house beyond repair is to stay one step behind him! I can’t let him get too far ahead of me or I am sure my house will actually cave in upon itself! So I do two “clean sweeps” every day…one in the morning and one in the evening…

I am NOT talking about cleaning…just straightening up…It is amazing how I can go to bed on a Saturday night with the house straight and return from church the very next day to a house that looks like a tornado flipped it high in the air shaking up everything inside...or maybe the gnome comes out while we are all away (that is my kids theory, anyway)…either way…I have to find two times a day for about 5 – 10 minutes to literally walk the house from one end to the other straightening up the place…

Here is exactly what I did just now in my 2nd clean sweep…I put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher, I put the kids clothes on the stairs, I put the pillows and throw blanket back on the couch, I threw away the trash from our “to go” lunch, I put all the dog toys back in the “dog toy basket,” I flushed a few toilets, closed a few cabinets, and threw away Saturday’s newspaper …wheeweee…and all of that took about 7 minutes, but the place feels 7 million times cleaner!

Maybe someday I will catch that gnome right in the act…plucking clumps of little Sparky’s fur and depositing it on my favorite throw blanket, but until then I am just going to do my best to keep one step behind him everyday …and you know… I think I am gaining on him!

priorities ~

One night we were having dinner and when we asked Fisher about his day he proceeds to tell us the following... “Bailey (the girl who sits next to him in class – we hear a lot about her) told me that Abby likes me, and so I told Bailey to tell Abby that I like her back…and then she then told me that Alexia likes me too, and so I told Bailey to tell Alexia that I like her back too…I can like them both…right?” Jeff and I respond (quite dumbfounded, but reaction-less) “What do you mean when you say they “like you??” He answers (as if that was a dumb question) “you know…like, they want to marry me!” Jeff and I respond... (Again reaction-less) “Well do you want to marry them?” his answer…”hmm, not sure yet, depends how much they like animals” ~smart kid~

shorts and snowflakes ~

Yesterday I complained about the warmer weather in this month of December...yesterday our temperatures were in the mid 70's...yesterday my son wore a t-shirt and shorts to school...that was yesterday....today at 3:30 p.m he and Adeline caught snowflakes on their tongues...today he wore thermal underwear and gloves to school...today the temps only reached mid 30's...only in Houston.

bear wrestling 101 ~

My house has a time of day that becomes frazzled all at once! It seems somewhere between 5ish – 6ish each night the tension in the house begins to thicken…The munchkins are hungry, the youngest is cranky...the phone begins to ring off the hook, dinner needs to get started (or it is time to leave for practice and pick up dinner on the way), the final load of laundry needs to be put away, the dog is chewing on my daughter’s last pacifier, and the boys down the block are ringing the doorbell in hopes of working on the giant “crater” they are digging in my backyard…oh…and they need a bag of popcorn to get started! And without fail…all this seems to come down at the same time of night!

This time seemed like a huge bear attacking my sanity and me, and though it is a short period of time it felt like it took over the morale of the entire day. It was like he would eat me up and spit out sometime after the kids went to bed.

So... I got a brave hair, and decided that I was going to go to battle with this “bear-of-a-time” and work pro-actively to conquer it before it got a chance to pin me down! So as with any attack, I planned, prepared, and gathered up some resources to take into battle with me.

First offensive move - Ambiance!!!!

The sensory setting of this time of day seems very key…so now, I work to make it a “calm” setting… I decided to play some music, sometimes Nora Jones, other times Dave Barnes, some extreem times call for extreem meausres...classical...

Second offensive move – Feed the Natives!

Usually the kids are hungry and the first thing Jeff wants to do when he gets home is snack ...so I quit trying to make this a battle... remembering the bear would love to pin me down with whining children and a husband who is “sampling” dinner before it is ready…I just set out some cheese and crackers for all parties involved… I set out just enough to tide everyone over ...

Third offensive move – Kids –Self-Occupation –

This means they “try” to occupy themselves without my aid or involvement…so maybe they watch TV (big deal!) I let them watch while I do what I need to do so that we can hang out together at the table!… I set the TV to record shows that Fisher loves, and that is when he watches them…or else he plays outside with the kids from the street … in the meantime, my 3 year old is in the other room watching Elmo…

Forth-defensive move – Relax – and don’t be ashamed to call for Back up!

I decided that no matter what I would not let the bear win!!! If I am totally late in getting to dinner...I just “call for back up,” by making sandwiches or we all hop in the car for MacDonald’s! I let the kids skip their baths when it is going to be too crazy make it home early enough to get them bathed. I committed to try my best to choose to relax at this crazy time of day…I just think...what is the worst that will happen if we all just have PB&J’s for dinner...nothing! So, even when the bear is beginning to have me pinned…I smile and kiss him on the cheek…I don’t fight him anymore, or he is sure to win!!! After all…if the dinner is burned, (or not even started), if we are late for basketball practice, the crater in the back yard has swallowed up one of the neighbor kids, and the dog has found yesterdays chicken from the trash… the best thing I can do is throw in the dishtowel (literally) and sit down with my 3 year old and watch Elmo! I figure, if I do that…I have still won!

nose to the tapestry~

Well, I have just started a blog...never really understood what blogs were, not sure I do now...but none the less I have begun one!

I've decided to call this blog "Nose to the Tapestry" because that is what I think much of my life is...each day what I see is like looking at a giant tapestry with my nose pressed right up against it...only grasping a small glimpse...a blurry spot on some days...a confusing configuration on others, a little glimpse of a little part of this huge tapestry that is LIFE...weaved with threads that go back generations and reach out through relationships.....made of weavings that represent days, moments, people and memories that make up the "life that happens here."

To me, right now...being so "close to it" it just looks like threads...many colors going in many different directions. Some match and some don't...some days I think, why that color, and why there...but I have to believe that it is because I cannot see the whole thing... and each thread, whatever the color and placement, is weaving together to create something worthy...and I have to hope and believe that it is something bigger and grander than I am or my family is...

I also have to believe that one day we will be able to step back and see it all...this entire tapestry and understand every 'unmatching' thread and each "blurry configuration" and see this thing from a proper distance...brilliant and beautiful...but until then...here I am ....nose to the tapestry...beginning a blog about moments and memories...life in my house...life in my family...life that happens here! and I am as excited as ever!